AndyLand: Realized I Can Rap

Let me bust you a rhyme. It'll just take a little time.
Yo, if you didn't know, I'm Andy. Man o man, I am so dandy.
You think that's lame? Heck, that's just my name.
I got some nice tricks, I dance off my fly kicks.
You think you seen it all? Nope, I may be barely 5 feet tall,
But amidst all the adversity, you'll never quite meet a girl that measures up to me.
Alright, now that I've got your respect, you know that's just the least you can expect.
Word. -AndyLand

AndyLand: Living in a Small Town

Welcome to Pahrump.

     AndyLand is currently located in a small town in Nevada. Pahrump is not exactly what you would call "a diamond in the rough." I mean, yes, it's in a rough place, but that doesn't make it any less rougher than the surrounding areas. Pahrump has it's up and downs. I'm sure most of you have heard of the peopleofwalmart.com website. Well, I have enough confidence to possibly guarantee half the images uploaded to that site are from yours truly: Pahrump, Nevada. We really are quite crazy people out here. Probably the only reason you'd have to come to Pahrump is if:

A) your Crazy Uncle Joe lives out here,

B) your parent just got a job at the Nevada test site, or

C) you're travelling to Death Valley or California from Las Vegas.

     Yes, Pahrump is neighbors with Vegas. The kind of people out here are incredibly different from Las Vegas, however. This isn't entirely a bad thing. I apologize now for my melancholy attitude towards my town. It's not that I hate it here, I don't. I think the reason it seems so miserable at times is my own fault. I don't own a car. I don't even have a permit, so automatically, the list of things to do in this town plummets.

     Some friends and I do crazy things to pass the time. Once, we played hide-and-seek in walmart. I wouldn't be surprised if there were pictures of us online right now. Another activity is something called coning. See, you go up to a local BK or McD's drive-thru and order an ice cream cone. [Note: a liscensed driver is necessary for this.] When the stereotypical middle-aged woman with pink eye shadow hands you the cone carefully instructing you to "grab here at the cone," you grab the cold treat right at the top, ice cream coating your hand. You pay for the cone and leave happily. The drive-thru worker will be both confused and contentedly amused. Sometimes, we get together to play Dew Pong. You guessed it: beer pong but with Mt. Dew. Warning: side-effects include getting dew-faced.  

     When you live in a small town, you have to think of your own ways to have fun. So, I guess that's what makes us close here in Pahrump. We're rough around the edges. Heck, we're rough in the middle, but we're close like family. Actually in this town, we're all somehow creepily related or friends of the family. See, my mood is already changing from melancholy to slightly sentimental. I'm a Pahrumpian living in AndyLand. But, boy, am I proud.